The Big Indian Tamasha....

I recently overheard a conversation between my mother and a relative of us. The relative was talking about a girl ( a s/w engg. working for Satyam....in the US). She, according to her was not getting married because her parents are not ready to cough up their life's savings in order to get a "good" guy for her. In her words...." After all these days you don't get "suitable" boys for anything less that 2 million bucks" . It was not only a fact she was stating. She said this with unquestionable conviction and a hint of glimmer in her eyes (perhaps reinforcing her belief that the MRP she has set for her just-in-job son is not that wrong...."not" inclusive of all taxes..of course).
Sample this: a girl who is working in a top notch (well...not so after the corporate fiasco) software company...tht too in the US needs to cough up 2 million bucks to find a suitable match.
Compare this with a guy in similar condition....? His family must have gone gaga over him, telling all their relatives how is it like working in the US...and how much is he being paid and blah blah..... His relatives (even distant ones) would show immense proud in his achievements and how as a kid he was so close to them. Marriage proposals would have flown in.....and finally he would have got a "combo pack"....a beautiful bride + money(enough to feed him for 5 years flat even if he leaves his "high flying" job) and gifts (enough to ensure he doesn't have to spend a penny for setting up his "own" home.... (personally I don't know for what... these suckers earn))
I am not out here to give a long speech against dowry system.....that many people give(even those who take it for their son's marriage). I just want to portray what the real situation has become due to this system....for people who consider it quite pragmatic to give a "daughter's" share in her marriage...moreover I am not very sure what percentage of the groom's MRP actually goes to the bride's own kitty.....
When I was studying in nagpur i remember coming across a news article..... It reported that one girl in bhandara district committed suicide so that her parents don't have to carry the burden of saving money for her marriage, and her brother(who was about to drop out) can continue with his education...Female infanticide and foeticide have become rampant.....disturbingly more in so called "developed" states. After all a parent doesn't kill their new born baby..just for fun or sadistic pleasure...do they? Corruption has penetrated our society .....one prime reason of which is the pressure to amass wealth....so that people can marry their daughter off in harmony with their stature.
Solution: Anti dowry Act?.....no....that we made quite a few decades back....Pre Natal Diagnostic Testing Act....no? .....we have already made that 15 years back with no visible improvement in female foeticide.
The only solution is that the young generation takes charge and say no to this age old custom which has created enough of nuisance and nonsense in our society. Consider a groom who takes a high moral stand and doesn't agree to be sold off.....there's no way his parents can make him agree to their demands. This is not only about morals but also about self esteem which forbids us to be sold off in a market as vegetables are. After all when it comes to career choice and other important things in life we are so assertive and persuasive. I don't know why we become so docile when it comes to dowry. After all many of us convince our parents for a love marriage, for a career abroad, for a flat in Bandra instead of a mansion in our ancestral homes...... isn't it...then why not this?
Perhaps, in this ever increasing materialistic world everything comes with a price tag.....even love, relationship and morality....!!!

An open letter to Mr. Kapil Sibal.....from a child....

Dear Sibal uncle,

I heard about you through people who read newspapers. They were saying that you are doing a remarkable job in the field of education. They were appreciating your decision to scrap the 10th board exams. They were also saying that you were doing something for my elder brothers and sisters who study in big colleges.
I thought you are the appropriate person, to whom I can express my feelings...and conditions.....
I don't know whether elementary education is in the state list, central list or the concurrent list. What I do know is that to attend school I have to travel 5 kms daily by foot. What I do know is that we don't have a toilet in our school and 3 of my friends got ill after eating the food served in our school under some scheme of yours. I don't know what percentage of GDP my Govt. spends for our education. What I do know is that we don't get books from our schools in time. Whenever we go to our teachers for the books they tell us that it would be made available in a few days but till date we haven't got any.
Many of our teachers whom we used to respect a lot...don't come to the school.....and if they do ......they don't teach....Some of my teachers spend their time in school by knitting sweaters.....We don't have the courage to go to our principal....who comes once in a week to the school.
I don't know whether I will be able to continue my education. My parents say that being a girl I should learn household chores. But, I want to study.
But even if I study, I don't know what to do after school. My teachers doesn't tell us about what should we do in life. Maybe they also don't know.
I have also heard that you have made education my fundamental right. I don't know to what extent I will get my right, keeping in view the prevailing situation in my village. My mother had to run from pillar to post to get a home under some Indira Awaas Yojana.....Till date we haven't got any. What she does get is the demand for money from the local authorities which we cannot fulfill with the current financial status of our family.
In fact I may have to drop out of school because my brother is in class 10th and he will need a lot of money to become a big man in life. I may have to be content with doing household chores for a man who will take dowry from my family to enable me to do so.
Sibal uncle, I don't know about my rich brothers and sisters who have to undergo a lot of pressure in order to sit for their board exams so much so that you have scrapped the board exams for them. I have even heard that Aamir khan has made a film for them and has earned a lot of appreciation.
Sibal uncle, I don't have any problem in carrying heavy bags to my school. I have absolutely no problem in sitting for examinations.But please ensure that I get an opportunity to sit at one.

Regards

A child with dreams